i'd rather have lst week than this..

If last week was a rollercoaster ride that I rode on, I would have been sick. I would have vommited all throughout that ride. It was full of highs and lows. I achieved lots of things, and failed lots of things all at the same time. And I just said to myself this morning right after I woke up, "Finally, that week was over! brraaaapppp!"

But now, I would rather replay that last week over and over again, rather than going into this week.

Two weeks ago, at G.A, we were just talking about death. And even though we were expecting this moment to arrive, we (well me at least) were not expecting it to be this soon. But it happened anyways, God's will? Well that's what my parents say. And I should also belive in that.

The start of this week, is so far, the worst of all. Now, she's gone. We cant talk to her anymore. Cant tell her our stories, experiences, achievements, failures and such. We will not be able to see her, hug her, touch her and kiss her.

I'm shaking. I wanna cry, my dad is not, so I must be strong. I wanna get drunk, but my dad doesnt want to, so I must be strong. I dont feel like doing anything tomorrow, but my dad doesnt feel the same way, so I must be strong.

Now, I regret all the times that I chose not to talk to you. To say how much I love you whenever I chose to talk to you. The times when I chose to do something else rather than to see you. I wanna say I'm sorry, but I cant. I wanna take back all of those things, but I cant. All I can do now is to pray for you, and i promise that I will everyday. Anyways, till I see you again. :-p